Arguing is inevitable, we have to accept it as part of every relationship. Many times large fires spread from very small sparks. How to extinguish the fire and avoid unnecessary arguments between both of you, especially when you intend to spend a long time with someone? Think a lot about the conflicts that can often arise. What will you do when there is “war”? 

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Below are 6 ways to control emotions when there is conflict between couples. I hope you will read and refer to it:

1. Don’t talk for pleasure

Allison Renner, a blogger, said her experience is that in almost every anger, we always blame the other person with a few very general phrases that deny them. “You are always like this…”, “You never do that”. Blaming is often unconvincing and can open up more blame and other reasons for disagreement, causing the argument to prolong or take a turn for the worse. Instead, if you have a hard time accepting something at the time, or something that is really relevant, point it out specifically. Furthermore, a sentence or a word does not mean we do not realize it is important, it is a dangerous spark. But in anger, no one has the strength to choose words. If that’s not possible, then don’t try to emphasize words that we know are just “pleasant” words, or just to vent anger. The response will be terrible, everything will not stop.

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2. Express to be understood, not argue to win

Men need to be listened to and women want to be accommodated. Whoever understands this principle will win. The enthusiasm and desire to win is very difficult to contain once it reaches its climax. What to do? Lower your voice one tone. Show the other person the signal that you want to listen to them because you also need to be heard by them. Learn to lower your voice tone, you will find many advantages and opportunities to relieve tension from there.

3. Humor is a weapon

It is truly a weapon if you are sophisticated enough. When making a joke in a sentence that is actually ironic, people will laugh. Laughter erases tension and makes it easy for both of you to realize you’re in a very stupid fight. Because in the end, what will be the purpose, where will this climax come from? Is it worth wasting energy and time on it? But note, if it is a serious matter, humor can denounce the crime of indifference. After all, no one wants to leave a man or a woman who knows how to make both of them happy.

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4. Don’t leave

The mantra “too much anger makes you lose your wits” has been passed down through generations, often accompanied by a message to leave the “battlefield” when it’s the messiest to calm down and calm down. But this article highlights those who dare to stay. In fact, the risk of an outbreak after you leave or stay is 50-50. However, staying shows respect, courage and the ability to cope. At least it doesn’t make the other person feel “abandoned”.

5. Speak with your eyes and touch with your whole body

You may think that the writer of this article intentionally “romanticized” the negative sides of the relationship between the two people. Life is whirlwind, full of responsibilities and challenges. Each person needs to be relieved with a hug, not with anger or insults to satisfy blame and sulk. To be honest, after satisfyingly releasing the “flood” in their hearts, the other person has no ability to respond. You won, are you happy? Not to mention, the harsh words uttered will never be “words flying in the wind” but a “mark” on the other person. People who know how to use their eyes to express themselves are different. Choosing few words is a respectful attitude. Even going to hug the person you hate so much shows a lot of bravery. Let’s show our hatred when hugging each other. How much do you comfort that person? Of course, that is the case of sincere love. So when is it not sincere? There comes a time when they or you repeat that action too many times in many arguments about just one issue. After every “war” everyone wants to become better. A better self and a better life together require a commitment to change.

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6. Establish a “Peace Treaty”

Allison Renner emphasized that once both have compromised, negotiated and understood each other’s expectations, the two people will clearly know the solution to help them avoid falling into the same fight. It is difficult to be certain that war will not happen again, but it is a different story, different developments. In case compromise fails, reconsider what this relationship means to your life. Is it worth your effort to feel happy?